A Hat for Spite

A hat to cover your hair dear
A hair to cover your head
A sink to cover your taps dear
A tap to cover your lead
A trap to cover your lies dear
A lie to cover your ground
A snip to cover your foot dear
A foot to cover your hound

A plate to shatter your dreams dear
A dream to shatter your life
A place to shatter your mind dear
A mind to shatter your knife
A tree to shatter your peace dear
A peace to shatter your war
A nut to shatter your ears dear
An ear to shatter your whore

An egg to swallow your pride dear
A pride to swallow your meat
A house to swallow your grease dear
A grease to swallow your heat
A mat to swallow your mind dear
A mind to swallow your lies
A hope to swallow your work dear
A work to swallow the flies

Who put up and shut up?

Who put the cat in Catalan?
Who put the bar in Bard?
Who placed the vow inside a vowel?
Who wrote the car in card?

Who put the came in camel toe?
Who put the sit in site?
Who placed the rig in trigonometry?
Who wrote the light in slight?

Who put the rear in dreary day?
Who put the rim in trim?
Who placed the ace in keeping pace?
Who wrote the him in whim?

Who put the helm in underwhelmed?
Who put the word in sword?
Who placed the fin in finish line?
Who wrote the oar in board?

Who put the hat in chitter chat?
Who put the hi in high?
Who placed the dole in condolences?
Who wrote the pry in spry?

Who put the hand in shandy bass?
Who put the tern in stern?
Who placed the rate in demonstrate?
Who put the earn in learn? 

The Gardeners Round

Tawdry Raucous piddle and caucus
Attic and rabbit and pan
Ripple pimple stimulant lintel
Rubbished and tarnished he grunts

Rumble jungle Violent uncle
Havent you got a japan?
lovely comely travelled abruptly
Fiddled the nimble account

Circus circus vegetable circus
Habit the spittle sojourn
Circus circus alightingly circus
Rubble the wedlock auberge

(repeat ad infinitum)