Cosmopolitan Ice Cream

Didn't we have a lovely time in Espana?

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We air dried a ham, our stomachs were numb

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with a herd of rampaging bulls

The time we spent

So far away

In Espana

Didn't we have a lovely time in Francia?

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We butchered a goose, our feces was loose

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with a bowl of onion soup

The time we spent

So far away

In Francia

Didn't we have a lovely time in America?

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We ate lots of meat, our sphincters were weak

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We walked down a street with a bottle of mountain dew

The time we spent

So far away

In America

Didn't we have a lovely time in Italia?

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We drank lots of wine, our bowels were fine

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with corporate corruption

The time we spent

So far away

In Italia

Didn't we have a lovely time in Canada

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We ate maple trees, our stools were neat

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with a moose and a caribou

The time we spent

So far away

In Canada

Didn't we have a lovely time in Somalia

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We tried to eat, our colons would leak

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with a guns pointed at our backs

The time we spent

So far away

In Somalia

Didn't we have a lovely time in Syria

Didn't we have some lovely fun and games?

We ate some tagine, our intestines were lean

We were never quite sure what the locals were for

We ran down a street with some unpopular local movement

The time we spent

so far away

In Syria

Devoid

1 yes
2 yes
3 yes
4 no
5 yes
6 yes
7 yes
8 yes
9 no
10 no
11 yes
12 no
13 yes

The Last

This is time

we had it all

we had so much time

but then we fall

back in time

This is life

we had some joy

we had so much life

but then we crawl

back in life

This is us

we had the best

we had so much us

but then we brawl

back in us

This is peace

we had a feast

we had so much peace

but then we bawl

back in peace

This is death

this is the last

we had so much death

but then we pall

back in death

Men That Have Given Up

What's all this trouble?

The virtue is double!

The winter sprays frost

On this ground

A gossip to gabble?

To settle this rabble!

A nap would do well

When it's found

A bad place to hide?

An army to ride!

A trip that's as rough

As a hound

A snippet of wisdom?

To capture this Kingdom!

To splinter the

Fortress we downed

Things Portioned out Appropriately

Pots and pans

And German flans

A hat for the Master!

A hat!

A shovel for the Knave who is keeping pace

and a hand for the bard who rang

Ducks and geese

And Angora fleece

A sprat for the Master!

A sprat!

Some coal for the Knave who is keeping score

and a fly for the bard who'll hang

Cats and dogs

And Frankish frogs

A steak for the Master!

A steak!

A rind for the Knave who is keeping time

and a thrash for the bard who sang

Sheep and pigs

And Turkish figs

A pipe for the Master!

A pipe!

A slat for the Knave who is keeping guard

and a ditch as a grave for the bard

Maybe, Just Maybe

I didn't have a song

I didn't want to sing

I didn't do it wrong

I didn't buy a ring

I didn't have the time

I didn't want to spend

I didn't have the spine

I didn't want to bend

I didn't wear the watch

I didn't give away

I didn't burn the hatch

I didn't want to play

I didn't pack the case

I didn't leave behind

I didn't watch this space

I didn't feel inclined

I didn't have a choice

I didn't want to make

I didn't raise my voice

I didn't leave the wake

I didn't have a plan

I didn't want to seal

I didn't join the clan

I didn't hear the peal

I didn't have a bow

I didn't take the horn

I didn't want to know

I didn't have to warn

I didn't stay on top

I didn't sit back down

I didn't slice the spot

I didn't want to crown

I didn't cross the cord

I didn't leave the room

I didn't get that bored

I didn't see the moon

I didn't catch the latch

I didn't even wait

I didn't bake the batch

I didn't want to take

I didn't hear you out

I didn't have a clue

I didn't wear your doubt

I didn't snatch the crew

I didn't want to teach

I didn't have a ball

I didn't drink the bleach

I didn't drink it all

I didn't have the will

I didn't have the might

I didn't want to spill

I didn't want to fight

I didn't want it all

I didn't want it all

I didn't want it all

Routine Allegations

That one, that one, that one there
Guilty, guilty, with no flair
Heavens sent the answers to me
Took my reason and ran it through me
Guarded through a dreary night
Who will stand with me to fight

That one, that one, that one there
Guilty, guilty, with no heir
Judgement lost my thoughts defined
Shook my slander and left me blind
Guarded by a blackguard Knight
Assessed the lies and made it right

I Left you There

We skipped across the moonlit lawn

Your porcelain hand in mine

I remember the day that we first met

Sends shivers down my spine

I watched you through the patchwork cloth

Your smile was my delight

I took the key beneath your mat

I stole you in the night

I bound your wrists with nylon rope

The kind that leaves a scar

I forced your hunched and crumpled form

Into my waiting car

We drove all night, we drove so far

We drove until the shore

I held your lovely supple neck

I made you whisper 'more'

I held you tight as youwould fight

I held you in the brine

I took you home so you could murmur

A delighted shallow whine

You sat in stoney silence dear

With a glassy vacant stare

I whispered in your china ear

We made our peace right there

I took your hands and feet apart

I washed you in the bath

I placed you on the mantelpiece

So you could always laugh

We skipped across the moonlit lawn

Your porcelain hand in mine

I left you on the garden bench

My sweet and cold divine

Je ne Sais Pas?

We Danced

We Danced

A Merry Dance

And Sprayed our Piss

All over France

Mais oui

Mais oui

Une peu de rise

Mais oui

Mais oui

Un peu poli

Recipe for Success

Put a slip of butter in a Neighbour's dog
There really is no better place to hide
Saute it up in a pan full of hairy toes
There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success

Hang a loaf of orange coated emu leg
Over a plate of dirty knees
Saute it up in a pan full of kidney stones

There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success

Write a note to someone that you do not know
In permanent marker on a pig
Saute it up in a pan full of pelvic bones
There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success

Douse your house in petroleum and kerosene
Make love to the liquid with a flame
Saute it up in a pan full of melted skin
There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success

Chop a boat with garlic and some parsley leaves
Add a pinch of disobedient nose
Saute it up in a pan full of pointy pins
There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success

Take a banker home and fill his eyes with wire
Batter him with briefcase and an egg
Saute it up in a pan full of judge's wigs
There's more to go but you should just know this
There really is no other way to attain some bliss
Than following to the letter this recipe for success


Watch a pointless populist television show
Add your knuckled fist into the screen
Saute it up in a pan full of empty dreams
Then you must wait,
And you must stay,
And you must work and work every single day,
There's bills to pay.
And there's your bliss, that's it.
Just following this recipe for success.

Cooking up a Bowl of Sweet Surprise

Tick tock, butter clock,
Covered up in chicken stock
Frothing broth and yellow carpet flies
Zipped up, fishy slop
Doused and splattered springy bok
Sizzling and rotting in the sun

An egg on the one hand
And several slides of acetate
Melted and sticking to the floor
Severed fingers
Several engagement rings
Added to the pot
When will the fun stop
Cooking up a bowl of sweet surprise

Sick sock, gutted cock,
Deathbed daughters bloody frock
Burning hair that's sticking to the pan
Hung up, horses clop,
Whipped up chips of beech tree bark
Crunchy with a hint of slimy moss

An eye on the one hand
And several balls of cotton wool
Fluffy like a bag of mouldy figs
Severed noses
Several plastic roses
Added to the pot
When will the fun stop
Cooking up a bowl of sweet surprise

Licked frog, sample tubs
Rich and rather soggy mud
Cow pats fresh and steaming from the field
Duck beak, cans of teak
Warm and smelly Irish peat
Bottles full of aromatic fuel

A knot on the one hand
And several sheets of office notes
Sticky like the most delicious glue
Severed elbows
Several insurance claims
Added to the pot
When will the fun stop
Cooking up a bowl of sweet surprise